I just want to feel normal again. And erase Friday night. Or maybe just Friday morning Idk. Im not sure if I even like him I just am going through one of those annoying fucking cycles where the second I deny him/run away/treat him awfully, and he doesnt like me anymore, I then proceed to fall madly in love. And then I act as if Im so heartbroken but yet wtf I did this to myself. Like fuck I hate myself. And I still feel like shit after that bullshit I took Saturday.
Sometimes I wish I was a good person but then I realize I would not be happy. Even as low as the comedowns are and the blackouts and whatever else that comes from the madness I sometimes get myself into, the highs well…..the highs are fucking high. And well I mean come on Im in a fucking penthouse suite on a mini vacation from reality with beautiful people and unlimited opportunities. Beat that