I love reading. Mmm losing myself in a character, entering someone elses world. Taking the time to meet a friend someone so far away not even in this reality and yet so hard to let go. I started a new book tonight and it is soo good. So interesting so political so eye-opening, every page wrenches my heart open and makes me want to hold the characters tightly, squeezing out the injustice that comes from our fucked up world. I cant put it down and yet my eyes are practically bleeding and Im so tired due to lack of sleep. So no time to reblog c00l pics tonight!! Must read/sleep/read
Trying to make it to 8 before I smoke a bowl! Ha I’m just sooo bored. Like I kind of want to go to the gym but I know I would easily kill myself driving on the snow covered roads, there is nothing on TV, the book Im reading sucks, I surprisingly did my homework, tumblr is getting old, i hate facebook and twitter, and im sleepy so yea its time for a bowl. Which is weird because I usually don’t smoke alone but recently (since I found my brothers hidden stash) I have been indulging myself.
I dont know how I got here, or why. All I know is that if I dont get out soon, nothing good can come of it. I need to get away from this place and get my act together. My mind is traveling elsewhere at the speed of light and I can not catch up.
Its annoying how you want me to fuck you but you dont even text me back….just sayin. And like I dont like how you are either all over me or there is no affection whatsoever. Like make up your mother fuckin mind. Im not used to this…he who must not be named (the ex boy) would like jump off a cliff to get to me but not you. you act as if I am supposed to come running to you like nah bro you need to come running to me. Im not walking up the street shivering in a short skirt, you can fucking walk can you not?! this aggravates me. and tonight i got caught sneaking out so that annoys me. i was in red bank when i saw my phone light up with the words DAD across it and my mouth fell open and the feeling of dread spread throughout my body. but at the same time it wasnt even dread it was just a nagging annoying feeling. because deep down i know i never get in trouble. like i can do basically anything and never bear the consequences because a. im good at lying (in certain situations) and b. my parents are the coolest/chillest/best parents ever. so it was dread but it was also aggravating because i just wanted to go smoke and hook up with some boy i hooked up with over the summer but nooooo i knew instantly that i had to go home and make up some stupid story about why i left. which is actually really funny because i told my dad that i had to look for leslies phone in the driveway?! lol i have no idea where the fuck that came from but my dad accepted it so ok sweet-o. and i know i could sneak out right now but now im just sleepy and i dont feel like having another 3 am night. like my body needs a break. and my heart. and also i think im supposed to be with one boy and if i left id be hooking up with another boy..so thats an issue. i guess. and ill probably delete this tomorrow morning because its a drunken embarassing mess but if u get the honor of reading this comment or somethangggg
its funny how its almost 4 in the morning and im drunk and have a college interview tomorrow and its funny how I DONT GIVE A SHIT. and these are the nights i live for. and yeaaaa my life is flashing before my precious bloddshot eyes. but who gives a fuck. im drunk eating chips and salsa and meatballs with my brother at 3:30 drinking beers bullshitting laughing whispering having a good time. and my boyy my boy boy boy is so cute and kisses me goodbye and defends me in front of the other boys. aw. oh wait he did look at that naked girl playing pong oh awk oh but i covered his eyes. cut cut. must sleep.
10/6/08 You tell me Don’t tell anyone The words are whispered and you say them softly I don’t want her to find out Fire lights through my veins where you touch me Burns through my blood Maybe not as bad as it should Because I’m intoxicated by you by the drinks I’ve drank by the way your hand keeps trying to reach up my skirt Stopppp I say when it keeps aiming uselessly for something that isn’t yours I can’t you you No The words are stuck behind the firewall in my throat Stuck as I am against this wall You can’t win this one I cant let myself be just another one Another girl to add to that invisible list No let’s go back inside Now I have the upperhand Now I’m getting somewhere He stares at me And then his lips Those delicate lips Pink under the dark light Are back And I’m pulled under
-Aw when I was young and innocent back in 08. Well somewhat.
29389.) I like you, but all you want from me is sex. But, I still continue to run after you. I've never had a guy put this much interest in me, and I don't want it to stop. Sometimes, wrong things feel right.