IM DRUNK. and so happy. is it bad to say that alcohol makes me happy? like im grinning and loling all over the place. im so drunk right now im taling to the most random people on facebook. and this shit is funny because im eating a taco and i usually dont do that. and yet this taco is banging and my brother gave it to me because he knew i was drunk and hungry and THANKS DOUG. and um i think im falling for another boy and its making me very happy. even if its not real and he wants to fuck numerous other girls AT LEAST i am falling for someone else. so UM thank gawd. and i gotta pee like my bladder hurts. so i am talking to my close friend from over the summer who i ahvent talked to in so long and it is making me feel really happy or amaybe that is the vodka/beer but whatever I LOVE LIFE
Music is a total constant. Thats why we have such a strong connection to it. a song can instantly take you back to a moment, place, person. No matter what else has changed in you or the rest of the world one song stays the same, just like that moment
last night I drank to make all my problems go away and I got so drunk I couldn’t walk, I smoked way too many cigarettes, danced to some shitty music, was two faced to everyone, passed out in the toilet, revealed way too many secrets, called the person I like 20+ times and text them “I loiyt I’ [I love you] and basically cried all night.
Disappointment is sinking in..deeper than anywhere you’ve ever been. I don’t want to feel this way. I want to feel free of these ridicolously high expectations that you’ve help me set. I can’t help but compare everything to you and nothing can come close..not yet. Not right now. I’m just stuck waiting for the day when I’m not thinking about your lips your neck your hands the curve of your back. But right now I’ll mess around, I’ll make myself pretend that I’m moving on. I’ll make myself forget you through the blurred faces of all the rest. But it won’t work, it never does. Because I’ll still remember you and I’ll still be disappointed.
i seriously have issues. serious issues. i need to fucking grow up. i think im getting a job. my mom thinks i should get a job because she thinks i have parties too frequently. she thinks that im ridicolous and well you know she is completely right. i need to do something else with my life. i am ridicolous i am completely fucking ridicolous. and its not good. no good. stupid stupid stupid. i hate everyone at rfh who fucks up my house adn tags my tables (?) like really…graffiti my table really?!?!? but at the same time idc because like one tables not a big deal. like honestly its just a table what is the worth in that one stupid table. when in reality these nights are nights ill laugh at forever. ill laugh at them because im dumb and act dumbly and enjoy this shit. and even though im angry and yell and want people to leave my house deep down im right there in the miz of it knowing it will happen and secretly allowing myself to get fucked over just so i can experieince it all. and yea tomorrow morning is gonna suck balls. but like every once in a while ya got suck balls.. ya know?
This morning I woke up and it was just one of those days. One of those really good days. I woke up and was like dammmmn im happy! It was 1:00 and I wasnt hungover and I didn’t have a sore throat and I had a fun/chill night last night and then finished the night off with an amazing soundless sleep. So overall I just woke up feelin very in tune with the universe and now here I am still just chilling happily, tumbling and smiling. So heres to these rare mornings where you wake up happy and feel invincible and alive and content with everything.